The Beauty in the Beast

August 7, 2011
7:45 pm

Konbanwa. Did you miss me? I'm really sorry for my very long absence. These past couple weeks haven't been very good to me, but then again, when is life ever good to me? I just make the most out of my bullshit existence.

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Actually, no. The reason I've been gone is because no worthwhile topic has been coming to mind. I think I've already used up all my ideas. That was until a few days ago when my brain hatched an idea one morning in school... but then I got too lazy to write, until now.

So tonight, the topic is an abstract thing. It's another thing that is so very often present in society's everyday conversations and rituals and whatever. It starts with a letter, B, and it rhymes with the word, "fruity". No, it's not boobie. It's beauty.

Have you ever heard of the saying: "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"? Of course you have. It's said over and over and over again. and pretty much especially by people to people who they think are ugly. Well, have you ever heard of the saying: "Everybody is an idiot except for myself"? Of course not. I just made it up, but it's pretty much almost everyone's way of thinking.

So, beauty. Everyone has their own concept of beauty, so don't go around calling people ugly or hideous. Everyone is ugly to at least one person, and everyone is beautiful to at least one person -- maybe. Even if your ears are cylindrical, 20 inches long, and with a circumference of 1cm, you could still be gorgeous... to insects with antennae. But seriously, beauty does not have any criteria to match, or any absolute standards to meet. It all depends on the person. It all depends on the beholder. So take your long-ass antennae and strut it in front of your cockroach admirers.

Look at the different races. You may not realize it, but my point is already very present and obvious here in our country, the gem of the east. How? Have you noticed how foreign men, usually the Caucasians, often prefer dark-skinned wives? The very women who we, Filipinos, very rarely get attracted to. Why is that? It's because they have different perspectives of beauty from us. We all have different perspectives, really.
Look at the African countries. I'm not trying to be racist, okay? I hate racism, but just look at the African countries. The less-civilized countries, because those are the ones I know at least a little about. Their tribes. Do you see their women? They see those women as beautiful, while we don't. Why? Because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

What's my concept of beauty? Hmm. Well, mine is pretty simple and general. It's not absolute, but here's my very frequent judgement when it comes to rating of the (beauty) appearances of men and women. First, females:

• If I find you ugly, then, I just find you repulsive.
• If I say that you are not ugly, then you're probably attractive to quite a number of guys.
• If I say that you're beautiful or pretty, then you're a celebrity, or just not someone I know personally.
• Now, if I say that you are gorgeous, then you are my girlfriend. And I have only one, so I find only one person gorgeous. It's not that I think everyone else is ugly. It's just that compared to her, nobody can ever come near.

As for males:

• If I say you're ugly, then I surely don't mean it. I may just be pulling your leg.
• If I say you're not ugly, then you're either probably very attractive to most girls, or unnecessarily picked on by most kids. I like defending the weak. I'm one of you.
• If I say you're handsome, then you're a celebrity. That's that. Or you're my friend. I don't choose my friends though. It's not like I only hang out with handsome guys. It's just that, when you gain my friendship, you become beautiful to my eyes. You don't have to look like Leonardo Di Caprio. You just have to have the beauty I consider worth keeping close to me, and it's not appearances. Wait, I guess I do choose my friends.

Now, I'm not saying that if I think you're ugly, then you're ugly. Of course not. I may just not see it. I mean, I'm the kind of guy who would see Megan Fox naked while playing Oblivion, and yet I would rather watch my TV screen than see that celebrity's bare body. Why? Because I love Oblivion. And because I'm taken. Every other female, no matter how famous they are for their looks, is just another girl. And if you're just another girl, then that only means one thing. You're not my sweet, beloved darling. And if you're not her, then to my eyes, you look exactly the same as every other girl.

If someone tells you that you're ugly, then smile and let the insult pass your heart. Don't let it get to you, because what's one person's opinion, when there are billions of other people in the world? If someone tells you that you're beautiful, while the whole world tells you that you're hideous, then smile and thank them for the compliment. Be happy because having that one person who sees the beauty in you means that the remaining billions of people could be wrong.
It's up to you whether to believe them or not. But I'm telling you that if you live your life like me, not seeing any hint of beauty in yourself, then you'll probably end up like me. And trust me, you would never want to be like me.

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That's it. It's all pretty sloppy, but just read it.
If you don't get it the first time you read it,
then read it all again. If you still don't get it the second time,
then read it a third time. If still nothing gets to you,
then turn off your computer, or your laptop, or whatever
the hell you're using, and go to sleep.
This blog is really different from the rest because
it has a very inspirational feel. Why is that?
It's because that everyone is ugly.
But at the same time, everyone is beautiful.
Night.