DIY: Peace

10/23/11
1:29 pm

I'm back after so long. These past weeks, I've just been too lazy to write about anything, but right now, I'm writing. You'll probably be disappointed though, because the topic for today won't be anything to your liking -- maybe.

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If you've been following this blog, then you'll know that I talk about society. I talk about people. I talk about their attitudes, their ways of thinking, and then I share mine. I talk about how I see the world.
And this world isn't so great. Famine, war, murder, rape, child molestation, robbery, poverty, corruption, persecution of the innocent and the liberation of criminals. But these topics are too big, and I'm in no position to talk about them. I'm no politician. I'm not criminal, and I'm not in any court case. I haven't been raped or molested. I'm not a farmer dealing with famine, and I'm not a law enforcer that has to deal with crime.
What I am is a person that knows nothing, and I'm surrounded by people who think they know everything. By "knowing nothing", I mean that I claim no authoritative truth to any of the things I say. I only say what I think, and I know that I may or not be wrong. And what I think is that the human race is sinking slowly into its demise.

Why do I say so? It's because of hate. People hate each other, so they cloud their rationality. They waste their time thinking of the people they hate, so they are unable to do anything with actual importance. (They also deny themselves entry into paradise.)

I don't usually do this, but this blog post is to help people. You see, I truly believe that the world would be so much better if people did not hate each other. There would be peace, unity and love, obviously.

To the people who hate:
What are your hobbies? Do you like sports? Do you like video games? Do you like reading books or do you like to write or draw? Do you like to study? Do you like making music, or playing an instrument? Surely whoever you may be, you'd have at least one hobby. Now, surely you'd like doing your hobbies, so what the fuck are you doing? Why are you wasting your time thinking so much about somebody you hate, when you hate them? If you really despise the bastard, then get him or her out of your puny-sized mind. So why is your mind puny-sized? Well, because all it has in it is hate, and nothing else. No rationality, no peace, and no broad thinking. You could be doing so much more with your time. You could be at peace with yourself and with the people around you, and yet you decide to hate.
Why do you hate?

• Let's say you're reading your favorite book, and somebody accidentally or intentionally slaps the book out of your hand, or maybe closes the book, therefore making you lose the page you were reading. What do you do? You hate? Wrong answer. You pick up your book and resume reading. Whether it was done intentionally or not, it won't matter because it was already done. You could ask for an apology. You could punch that fucker in the face, but none of those things are going to change the fact that your reading was put to a short halt. You could always resume reading and keep that short halt short, but instead you would probably prolong the break, therefore stop reading completely. Forget it. Just forget it happened and stay in your peaceful mood.
• Let's say the prey of your petty emotion is a celebrity, or a famous figure. Let's say the person is someone you don't know personally, but someone who has done a public crime, or just anything at all that displeases you. Well, guess what? Your hate isn't going to change a thing. It's just going to keep you pissed, and being pissed is not a pleasant feeling. Just drop it.
  
• You're jealous of someone. Someone gets so much attention, and you're jealous of the person. You hate the person, and call them names, and give them dirty looks, and pretty much anything else you could think of. Or maybe, someone gets no attention at all, and you're jealous of that because you want zero people knowing your name, or looking at you, so you hate that unknown shadow of a person. Well then, go see the post Green Eggs in Your Pants. It will be more fitting for your situation.
• (Just a quick note: If you're Christian or Catholic, or whatever, just remember that you're going to your hell. Kiss your ass goodbye, because that shit is going to be burning for eternity. Don't be a hypocrite.)

For the people who are hated:

• Don't retaliate. Don't let it get into your system. Don't let them bring you down, because they're stupid, low-IQ, irrational, worthless lowlifes. If they hate you because you're different, then be glad that you're not as dumb as them. Don't be surprised when people hate you, because that's just how life is: either hate or be hated or hate and be hated. Don't despise the people who hate you, because you'll just stoop down to their level. Just remember that if someone loathes you, then you're doing something right. Hate is for the week and for the people with nothing better to do. You just live your life, and don't let anybody stop you from doing what you love and from doing what you want. Hate is a mere emotion, and emotions can't change the world.
• (Remember, if someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. I've got to say that the bible is oftentimes total baloney, but it makes some really wise points.)

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So that'd be all for today.
I know what it's like to be hated. Trust me on that one.
I also know what it's like to hate so much.
With this post, I'm not trying to change the world.
I believe that humankind is beyond repair.
Even if the people who read this were to get
inspired to stop the cycle of hate, it would still
continue amongst those people far away, or within
the people who just couldn't stop loathing.
I'm not trying to change the world.
I'm just sharing my opinions.

Heresy

10/06/2011
7:07 pm

Good evening, everybody. I'm back after quite a long break. I was never planning on writing again any time soon, but earlier this afternoon, motivation and a brilliant topic hit me, and it came in the form of a girl. A nice girl, she was, and I hope she's reading this right now, because she was the apple that fell on Newton' head. (figuratively, obviously)

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My country, the Philippines, has some very religious people, mostly Catholic and Christian. Surprisingly, a few months back, there was this very controversial event concerning art and blasphemy. What happened was there was this art exhibit that featured a painting, or a picture maybe, of Jesus Christ, and glued to his face was a wooden penis. Shocking, right? When I first saw it, I was blown away with mixed emotions. First, I was filled with disgust, because it was vulgar and disrespectful, but the negativity didn't last long. I felt a great respect for the artist, because knowing how religious Filipino people are, that piece of art alone proved that the guy had balls. He has his opinions, his own beliefs, and he wasn't afraid to show them.

So if you're already thinking, "Oh boy, he's going to attack religion and god again," then you're partly right. You see, I don't attack religion or god. I don't intend to cause any insult or disrespect, my only wish is to share my opinion. When people pray to God, the Christian God, I don't take any insult, and I don't say that they're attacking my belief. If a Muslim were to pray right beside a Catholic, would the Muslim be intending to diss the other? Surely not. Would the Catholic take offense? Maybe.
My point in all this is that how come believers preach their opinions (which they see as facts) so loudly and obnoxiously, but the moment a contradicting opinion goes their way, they take insult? They label you as a blasphemer and they condemn you.

Back to the original topic though, which is blasphemy. I'll split my explanation into two parts, a religious point-of-view and an atheistic point-of-view.

Atheistic
This is going to be brief. If you're a religious person, I think that you'd want to skip this part, but don't worry, I'm not going to be saying stuff like, "Eh, I think the penis is a nice touch".
Sure it was disrespectful and kind of an asshole thing to do, really, but if I were to paint a picture of Santa Claus with a g-string on his head, would it be such an immoral thing to do too? If I were to paint a picture of the Easter Bunny giving birth to a dragon, then would that be blasphemy too? This is pretty much saying that since I don't believe in a god, then blasphemy is just really pointless and means nothing at all.

Religious
Now, this is for the theists. You see, I'd been a Roman Catholic and a Born Again Christian, so I know what it feels like to believe in a god. It's self-centered, hypocritical, arrogant and most of all, self-righteous. You might think, "No! It's not having a god that you just described." Well then, let me explain myself from my own understanding of my experiences.

I've never seen God. I've never heard His voice. I've never felt God, and I've never tasted God. I also have never smelled God, unless He smells like a certain kind of perfume, then maybe I have. (No, that's a joke) So none of my senses have ever sensed God, or His presence, so why did I ever believe that there was one? I was raised Christian and went to a Catholic school for 8 years, so my mind was molded unconsciously by the idea of the existence of a god, -- until I grew the balls to question myself. And yes, I questioned myself, my own beliefs. I never questioned God because He was just always in my mind. God was my conscience, my morals, and my beliefs. God's word was my interpretation of the bible, and God's will was whatever I thought needed to happen. Why do you think different people have different preachings on the Word of God? Why do you think Christianity branches out into so many religions, if we're all just really worshiping the same God?
The bible means what people think it means, and each one understands it differently, unless of course if you base your faith on the things you hear, and not the things you read, which is mostly the case with most of the believers I know. Why do you think that there are still conflicts amongst religious people of the same religions? Who will you be to say who's right and who's wrong, if their basis is the will of an invisible being who nobody can ever really have a proper conversation with?
Self-righteous because you think you humbly worship a great divine being when you're really just worshiping yourself. If you don't believe me, then tell me, why do you praise God for so many things, and why do you acknowledge His will, when His reasons are supposedly not understandable by the human mind? How can you say that whatever is happening right now is God's will, when his divine plan is supposed to be too great for you to understand? Well, it's simply because it what you think His plan is. In other words, it's just what you think. If you still don't believe me, then I'm surprised you're still reading this.

So where am I getting with this? Well, it's just my explanation for my opinion that all your gods are your own minds, your own personal gods. So how does this relate with blasphemy, with the blasphemous work of art?
If there was a god, I think he'd much more appreciate the use of our logic, our intellect and rationality, our talents in arts and the blooming of the creativity of our minds, than the mindless worship and keeping sacred of his name. I don't think that a divine being would care so much about his name that he would hinder the use of the complete potential of our minds and talents just so he would have a clean reputation. That's the attitude of a conscious teenage girl, and I don't think that a divine god would be a conscious teenage girl, unless of course if you're a conscious teenage girl yourself.

So about the shutting down of the art gallery and the supposed vandalism attacks on the artworks, let me ask you something: Why are you speaking for what you think displeases your god? If he really hated it, wouldn't he, being all-powerful, just tell the artists himself? He could, couldn't he? If everything that happens on earth is his will, then why did these paintings come to existence? And if you say that not everything that happens is according to his will, then what kind of all-powerful being couldn't control everything that happens in his little planet? If you say that he just wouldn't, then what kind of a good god would just let his children die and suffer and kill each other off and get raped and molested? If you hate this post, then there's nothing I can do for you.

And besides, who knows if Mideo Cruz really did have any intention of offending Christianity? Who knows what kind of significant meaning that wooden organ could've been symbolizing. You see, here's the thing with believing in a god: (from what I know) it makes you think that you have the answers to the questions, when you really have no clue. It makes the most arrogant people believe that they're being humble, as long as they give credit to god, which is just giving glory to themselves and their unquestionable opinions. You don't know what he really intended to show.

That's the beauty of art. Only the artist will surely knows what it truly means.

_____________________________________

Good night, everybody.
If you got offended by this post, then you
probably shouldn't have read it.
And don't ever forget that my statements here
are my own honest opinions.
I don't claim them as facts,
unlike what other people do.
I don't say that I know the laws of the universe;
I say that I know what I believe in.

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Edit as of 10/08/11:
After reading much more about the topic, I found out that Mideo Cruz created the work, "Poleteismo" which is not just a single painting, but three walls entirely covered with images and papers, and much more. There were pictures of Jesus Christ and Mary alongside condoms; he put up some designs commonly found in some churches; and he hung crucifixes and rosaries to wooden phalluses, and trust me, there were so much more.
I know it's even more shocking to know that there are more, but before all of you go start judging and condemning the artist, let me post to you here his explanation:

"I wanted to provoke people into thinking. I titled my work ‘Poleteismo’ which loosely translates into ‘many beliefs’ or ‘many deities.’ Throughout history, humanity has grown to create new gods and these are not always religious figures but concepts and objects. Some have taken to worshiping money; some see politicians as godsend. People create idols and these idols whether or not they’re deserving of idolatry or worship affect our lives and how we function and see the world."

Now, if you ask me, this man is a genius. That explains the pictures of politicians, the phalluses, the condoms and the piggy banks. So right now, try to think if he's really such a bad guy, when he was never trying to offend Christianity (as he says). He has a point, an idea, a thought, a brilliant observation, and through art is how he shows it.

My Sweet Little Rib

9/28/11
7:06 pm

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. I'm back, and this time not after a really long break. For some strange reason, I just really feel like writing these past days, so here I am -- rock you like a hurricane.

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At the mention of tonight's topic, you'll all probably think that I'm being so touchy and sensitive about such little things. You guys might also call me a flaming homosexual, while the girls would probably praise me, call me sweet -- or they could also maybe call me a flaming homosexual. So what is tonight's topic? Go ask yourself right now what a guy would tell his guy friend, who punches soft.

Yes, tonight's topic is sexism, sexual discrimination, namely against women, so that means that this is going to be a feminist post.
You'll probably find it weird that a guy, a completely heterosexual guy, would bother to write about sexism against women. I mean, why would a guy even notice this shit? Well, let me tell you what I think:
Everyone should notice all this gender discrimination around them, no matter how minor or how major the case would be. Why? Well, it may not be a big deal, but it's the hypocrisy, the arrogance and the delusion! The hypocrisy of the people going on and on about being all made equally, yet looking down on women as if they're weak and unimportant, saying that all they're good for are house chores. The arrogance of the men who demean women, thinking they're so much better than the latter, and the delusion of all of you, saying that you see everyone equally, when sexism is so evident everywhere.

I remember this one time I was in class, and I taped this visual aid to the blackboard for my teacher, considering that I'm a tall guy. It was windy that day, and the wind blew the manila paper off the board, so I went back in front to put it back up, and the teacher, seeing the visual aid on the floor, complained to me, saying that I was doing "a girl's job". She didn't mean that putting up a big piece of paper was a job for a girl to do, but she was saying that I was doing it as badly as a girl, and in my mind, I was thinking, "What the fuck does being a girl have anything to do with not putting up a visual aid right?"
Weird was that when our teacher said that, my classmates were laughing, especially the girls too. I seemed to be the only one who was affected by her words, and it was strange because I'm not even a girl.

You're a guy and you punch somebody, and they'll tell you that you punch like a girl. Now, how come it's a common mind state that people believe that women are automatically physically weaker than men? I know girls that could surely kick my ass to hell and back!
The same things applies to being fearful of shit, not literal shit though. Let's say a guy walks in a garden, let's say this guy is me, because this guy really is me, and he doesn't touch anything because he hates insects. People would call him a girl. Why? Because people are stupid, and they're oblivious to the fact that the girls are just frolicking on the dirt, touching all the disgusting creatures their eyes could catch sight of.

Now, here's something people don't really see: the belittling of women in the Christian bible. I mean, the wives must always succumb to their husbands. Eve was created to be some kind of helper to Adam, as stated in Genesis 2: 18, "I will make him an help meet for him". If I were a woman, I probably never would've lasted long in Christianity. To think that the bible states that all people were made equally too, but that's just how I understand it.
Now, I don't know about the other religions, but I think in Islam, women are seen as of lesser importance and significance than the men, but I can not confirm these things. Never in my life was I a Muslim.

So main lesson, stop sexism. Just last Sunday, at church, the pastor was a very sexist person, and people look for him for the "Word of God", so no wonder people are sexist.
But why don't we just pass on positive sexism. That's sounds like a good idea, right? Well, not really, because saying that one gender is good at a certain task is like saying that the other gender is not, so that's still negative to at least one, so I guess all we could do is just stop talking -- but we all know that we can't keep our mouths shut.

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Now, that's all for tonight.
Never again will I talk about this topic, sexism.
Maybe tomorrow night I could talk about racism next.
Good night, internet.

Devolution

9/26/11
8:32 pm

So I probably don't have school tomorrow, which would normally be such fantastic news, but not this time, because shit is getting nearer. Anyways, it's cold, which is very lovely, but quite melancholy in feeling, although I'm totally fine with that, and I actually feel inspired to write. Finally, after all this time, I am back.

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Tonight's topic has already been discussed before, but I feel that it was too messy, unorganized, and angsty, and so I decided to talk about it again, but maybe with more depth, more detail. Think of it as Jesus coming back, but this time he talks about stuff he forgot to mention the first before, or maybe while he was up in heaven, he realized he missed a point, so he's here to revise, to make things clearer, but I'm not Jesus. I don't work miracles, and I'm not my own son... nor am I my own father.

Don't worry, my religious friends, -- or readers, rather, because I don't think you people like me personally, -- there will be no mention of religion tonight... or at least not much mention of it. If you've been reading my blog for some time now, you should know very well that I'm like, obsessed with religion.

So let's do something fun for a change. I'll make a short poem here, and from that poem you try to guess what the topic for tonight will be. I'm not going to tell you not to cheat though, because regardless of whether or not I'd want you to cheat, you probably still would or would not. It's like being asked a true-or-false-question that you do not know the answer to. I mean, wanting to get it right is not going affect your chances of getting right, but anyways, here's the poem:

Your hands on your ears
Anger is squeezing too tight
A horse, your pride is your rider
Blinders hindering your sight

Your head hits the clouds
Your hair tickles your father's feet
He slaps you back down to earth
With the rolls of cash he got from the church

Hate breeds hate
From the little beatings each day
And when he comes of age
Resurrect all this rage

So I'm wondering now... what the hell is my topic for tonight? I mean, I know what I want to talk about, but there's kind of more than one, and I'm trying to find a word that both topics could be grouped under. Maybe I could just put it as simply as this: my topic for tonight is age, but not limited to just age. I want to talk about respect, ego, and closed-mindedness, but I guess that could all be grouped under the topic, age. Just like my older post, The Arrogance in Age, I will be talking about aged people.


So first off the list would be:
Respect

What is respect?
I am very infamous for being a disrespectful kid, and I understand completely why people would think of me that way, but what they don't understand is that I'm not doing this shit on purpose. It's not as if I like coming off as an asshole, but that's just how I am. You see, what people want is absolute, unconditional, unquestionable respect for both the elders and the authorities, while what I want is equality.
Why is it that a kid shouldn't answer back to his parents when he has an opinion? This little bitch needs to be heard out, because he has a right to his own opinion, and his parents would be anuses of the highest caliber to not let him speak it out. Why is it that a student can't speak against the teachings of his teachers? Is it so that a student will always be wrong in front of a teacher? Is it so that a child will always be wrong in front of a parent, an aunt or uncle, and anyone at all who is older? If you say yes, then please jump off a bridge. Do the world a favor and jump off a bridge.

Now you'll probably tell me that of course anyone can speak his own mind again a parent, a teacher, an elder or someone of a higher authority, but they'll need to do it in a respectful manner. Well, tell me, what is a respectful manner? In a soft tone? What if your voice is unintentionally and unconsciously loud and you always sound as if though you're mad? But okay, let's say I tell a teacher that she's wrong while I smile and talk in a polite manner, shit still isn't going to change. She'll still label me disrespectful, and don't say that she wouldn't because this shit has been going on for about 3 years now!

So what do I consider as respect? It's simple. Honest intentions that don't wish to offend. So if we're in an argument, and I call you a piece of shit, I still respect you. If I didn't respect you, then I wouldn't even be in an argument with you, because I find it hopeless and pointless to reason with fools, and I respect everyone, who I find wise, or at least just not stupid. I don't think using words such as "po", "opo", "ate", or "kuya" will automatically make you a respectful person. Those are words and words are light. I could tell a teacher, "Ang gwapo mo po ngayon," then flip him off the moment he looks away, and I consider that disrespectful.

I don't crave respect. I don't need respect. I'm not obliged to respect anyone, and nobody is obliged to respect me as well, although I respect quite a lot of people. It's not really respect I want, it's equality. If we're obliged to respect elders and authorities, why not just respect everyone? And if you don't respect everyone, then why not just respect no one?

On to the next topic,
Closed-mindedness

I don't really know if closed-mindedness is the right word to use, but I'm going to use it anyways. So what exactly do I mean by closed-mindedness? Well, I simply mean the opposite of being open-minded.
If you're closed-minded, then you accept no other view besides your own. You are stubborn, not noble, just plain stubborn.

Most adults are closed-minded, and it's surely the age getting to them, but here's some news flash, people, just because you've been alive for more years doesn't mean that you're wiser. Of course not! Times change. What could've been right or acceptable then, could be outrageously frowned upon now. It's not just in wisdom too, but also in intellect. Let's say you slack off in school, so you barely learn any of the formulas in Physics, then you grow up and have a son, who loves studying Physics. Do you think you'll know more than him just because you're older?

You see, here's the thing that's going on, which is why adults always seem to be so closed-minded. An adult would crave so much respect, absolute and unquestionable respect, and together with his close-mindedness, he would always be obeyed in the family. His wrongs would turn right, all because he's head of the house. He is irrational, selfish and self-righteous, and everything would go by his word, so his children, with their minds and opinions being oppressed, will wait for the day that they would be the ones in power. They'll hold in their thoughts and feelings until they could be the ones in control, but as time passes by, these vibes they keep inside them rot and turn bitter. So then that kid grow up to be just like his narrow-minded parent, and the cycle continues. You step on your kids' balls, then that kid's mind grows inside as he ages and with all that oppression he steps on his kid's balls in turn to feel the power and freedom they never felt.

Last topic,
Ego

The main reason for the lust for respect and for the closed-mindedness: ego. I guess that the case is for most people that they think they're so much better than everyone below them, either by age or by authority, which is why they are able to crave respect and feel that they need not give respect in return, and that they are able to remain so closed-minded.

So all we need really is a little humility. There will be times that you will be wrong, and there will be times that you would be right, so you should know how to act accordingly. A wrong, no matter how much bullshit can be made out of it, will always be a wrong. Be humble and accept that there are things you don't know (like maybe how the universe and human beings came to be and what happens when we die) and accept that you will make mistakes. Admit that there are people who are wiser than you, regardless of their age or position of authority.

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So that's it for tonight.
Good night, people.

Romeo and Juliet are Together in Eternity

9/13/2011
9:27 pm

Evening, chaps. It has been a very very long time since I last posted. I apologize for that, and I thank you all for still staying tuned to this blog. As for the people who are reading from this blog for the very first time, well, there is very little you need to know. Actually, there is just one thing that you need to know about this blog, and that is that it consists of my opinions, so if you don't like it, turn off your computer and throw it out the window.

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Tonight's topic is a beautiful topic. No, it's not about beauty -- actually, it is in a way. It's beauty and peace, or at least I think it's beautiful and peaceful. What am I talking about? Well, it starts with the letter, D. No, it's not dick. It's not defecation either. It's not dragons, or dancing, or drugs, or Dubstep... Oh wait.
Anyways, it's dying. It's death.

So you're probably thinking, "Death?! What a morbid son of a bitch this guy is!" Well, sure, I may seem morbid to you, but I'm not one of the people complaining about how people should just die already, am I? I never wish for the death of people (namely Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black).

I think that death is a beautiful thing, and I know that I'm not the only person who thinks this. I mean, I think that nobody should be afraid of dying.
If you believe in Christianity or Islam or whatever religion that has an afterlife, then you should be eager to die, right? You'll be with your god, right? Unless your religion labels you as an asshole, then I guess you're going to your hell, right? So you would probably want more time on this earth to make up for your shit so you get to the pearly gates, but I don't think that that is a very good reason to do your "good deeds". Doing things just so you won't burn in hell, but then what would I know? I'm just a potato.

Death is a mysterious thing, isn't it? I mean, when you die, you just disappear. Your body just stops moving and your heart stops beating. You stop breathing and your consciousness just disappears.
Is death planned out, though? Is it fate? Was it a soldier's destiny to have died in a war? Was it a hanged person's destiny to have killed himself? Are all our deaths planned out from the days we are born? That's what other people believe, right? Wouldn't that be shitty, to have your death planned out against your will? I mean, that would suck!
I don't believe that death is fate, though. I mean, we are all destined to die, but I don't believe that when and where and how we die are things that are decided by fate. No way. I mean, I've had a near-death experience once, and I don't even know how I survived that. Did I cheat death, or was I destined to experience that but then keep living? Or maybe there's nothing mystical about it all, and what happened just happened. That's what I believe.

Deaths are sad, of course, because it's painful to lose someone. I wouldn't really know from experience though, because I've only witnessed one relative die, and, well, I can't really say I was devastated. I'm not sadistic or anything, but I just didn't feel it. You can judge me if you want, but keep in mind that God tells you not to be judgmental, because no human being has the right to judge another. If you believe that, and yet you still call me, oh I don't know, ("maangas"), then just know that there's a thing they call people like you, a hypocrite.

But I digress. So there's this thing people call, the afterlife, right? It's life after death. You can go to heaven or hell, and in Catholicism, purgatory. It's kind of a funny thing though that a lot of religions acknowledge the existence of the afterlife, right? Doesn't it make you think that maybe people get into these religions just to secure themselves of their fear of death? They don't know what's going to happen, so instead of wondering, they just take whatever explanation they get, no matter how ridiculous, but of course, it may not seem crazy to you. These are just my opinions.
There's something I wonder about, though. In Christianity, whether Catholic or whatever else you classify it into, why is there a hell? I mean, heaven is ruled by God, the all-good and all-powerful, while hell is ruled by Satan, the evil bastard. Why doesn't God just completely obliterate hell then? I mean, He can, can't He? And if He can't, then how is He all-powerful? Is it to keep the balance, to divide the evil and the good? If that's the case, then doesn't He love the evil souls? If so, then why roast them for eternity?
Here's what I think: maybe God and Satan work like a dynamic duo. You can't have good without the evil, and you can't have evil without the good. If there was no hell in the Christian belief system, then I don't think people would even follow God. If there were no consequences, then why work so hard to please Him, right?
But again I say, this is just my thinking. You don't have to agree, but you also don't have to hate me for it, although you can. Just know that if you do, then you're again disobeying your religion's teaching, (supposedly you're Christian or Catholic) that tells you to love your neighbor as you love yourself.
I'm a troll, yes.

People ask me whether or not I'm afraid to go to hell. Well, to be honest, I kind of am. I mean, just imagine being on fire and being raped by a bunch of ugly demons for eternity. That's not something I'd like to spend forever doing. But what is it that fuels me to doubt heaven and hell? Rationality. I mean, if you think about it, do you really think that having a place filled with fire and demons and souls is possible? Same thing applies for heaven. Where are these places? How come we can't reach them? Is it because we're still physical bodies?
So what do I believe happens after death? Well, you know that time before you were born? Those countless years that took place before you were brought into this world? Of course you wouldn't remember. You weren't around. That's exactly what I think happens after you die.

But like I've said, that's just what I believe. You have your own beliefs, and I respect that. Sadly, you people (well, most of you people) don't respect mine. Tsk tsk.

So is there an afterlife, or do we just get erased from eternity as if we were never born? There's only one way to find out, and that way is dying.

I still haven't said why I think death is beautiful and peaceful though, so here it goes: Well, I think this world is cruel and unfair. Sure, the earth is beautiful, but it is plagued by a disease called, man. (Unoriginal quote. I forgot the source.) When we leave this earth, we leave behind the rape, the murder, the hate and the discrimination. Isn't that beautiful? And I think that death is eternal sleep, and sleep is peaceful, so wouldn't death be extremely peaceful?

____________________________

That is all for tonight.
It's so late. Ugh.
P.s. I don't find killing beautiful, unless of course
you do it for a good reason.
I believe that the end justifies the means.
But murdering the innocent,
aw hell no!
Good night.

Green Eggs in Your Pants

9/4/11
9:25 pm

I am back after another break. Not so inspired at all, instead feeling pretty melancholy. Although I'd rather die right now and wake up when the world gets better than write, I'm going to write. Why? Obviously because my first option would be impossible because the world isn't going to get better. Might as well die now, but maybe some other time. Right now, I shall write while munching on Reese's cups. Yes, product placement on my blog. Suck my chocolate peanut butter treats, bitches.

_________________________

A couple of days ago, someone told me a little something about the people in my school. He said two things. The first, unimportant, but the second did catch my attention. He said that the students in the higher batches thought of me as... hmm... how do I put this? Arrogant, maybe? Well, I was described in a Filipino word, but this isn't a Filipino blog. But just to make things clear, I'll put the word anyways. He said that the guys from the higher batches think of me as "maangas". I tried google translate, and it translated to 'arrogant', but it didn't really seem right.

I'm not saying though that I believe in what he said. I'm not saying that these guys really do say these things, although it's very likely. Despite the probability though, I do not consider it a fact, only a statement. So why talk about it tonight? Simple. I've already experienced being talked by other people in an ill manner, the people who don't even know me personally.

This guy who told me about it a couple of days ago... let's call him, Dick, for no apparent reason at all. Anyways, Dick told me that they probably hated me because they were jealous of me. Strange, right? What would anyone ever be jealous of me for? Is it my height? I can only imagine it to be my height. I mean, I'm a fucking light post. He did mention that it was probably because of the first thing he said. Remember, he told me two things. I brushed it off, though. I mean, it was just pretty hard to believe.

Before, though, I was hated. Guys hated or maybe just disliked me because of jealousy. They weren't jealous though because of anything about me. I'm not pretty, I'm not cool, I wasn't popular, and I'm not talented. They weren't jealous of something I was. They were jealous of someone I had. Someone I still have. Bitches be hatin' coz I got my princess. It's pathetic, really. To hate someone because of something you're not or something or someone you don't have.

I'm not a jealous person. I find it hard to be jealous of anybody, not because I think of everyone as inferior to myself, but because I just really am not into that much material belongings, and right now, it's material belongings that breed jealousy mostly. But okay, let's say it's nothing material.
Let's say it's appearances. Let's say a certain group of people hate a certain someone because that certain someone is found attractive and good-looking by another group of people. Is that any reason to hate? Is that any reason to be envious? Surely, it's not. I mean, why do most guys hate Justin Bieber? It's not because he makes shitty music, and it's not because of his premature voice. It's because the bitches fall for him. I mean, in my opinion Rihanna makes shitty music (the shittiest probably) but she doesn't have a huge mob of female haters. Why? Because she doesn't have a huge fanbase of infatuated men.

Let's say you hate someone you're in a love triangle with. And yes, I know what a love triangle is. I've grown up with mushy girls, girl magazines, soap operas and TV shows with female leads that care for nothing but boys, so I know what a love triangle is. But then, who the flip doesn't know what that is? Back to the point though:
Let's say you hate someone who is loved by someone you love. Then let me tell you what, you are wasting your time. Let's say this guy, Alice, is in a relationship with this girl, Bob, (ironic, I know) and you, a guy named, Mohammed, are in love with Bob. You would hate Alice. You would try and sweet talk Bob because you are a pathetic lowlife. Well then, why not just take a step back and go fuck yourself?
I've said this so many times before and I'll say this again: KEEP YOUR NOSES OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S ASSES.

And let's say you're jealous of a material belonging someone may have, or just simply something you don't have. Then, well, I can't help you. Go to Facebook and complain about it.

Don't hate people who don't bother you. And if they do bother you, don't let them get to you. Hate is a curse, a disease that makes you see the whole world as a sick plague. Trust me, I know this shit. Let me tell you now that if you waste your time hating someone who doesn't even know you, who doesn't even care for you, then you're wasting your time. Why not take a chill pill and go make yourself a glass of Kool-Aid?
If someone doesn't bother you, then don't care for them, you pathetic worms. But then you could always hate me. I'm fine with people hating me and cursing me and despising me and loathing me. Hate me or love me, I'm still that big of a deal to you for you to waste your time thinking about me... and my nunchucks skills. But once you start getting into my business, then shit gets gets real.

__________________________

That's it. It's late. I could've slept early tonight,
but I didn't.
Adieu.

Thank You

8/31/11
6:46 pm

I'm quite disappointed today. Earlier, I was looking for drop crotch jeans in the mall. I saw one pair though, very nice, but very expensive. I mean, way too expensive. It was just irrationally expensive. Then I found another pair, although I didn't like it as much as the first. Sigh. Oh well. That's my everyday life. Disappointment.

_____________________________

I've been gone for a really long time, I know. I just feel as if I've already used up all the topics worth talking about -- well, okay, that's not true. It's just that nothing has been happening so far that gets me worked up. But maybe I'll talk about something I've always wanted to let all of you know. It's about all of you, readers.

Your hearts are probably beating fast and hard, pushing up the skin above your chest because being the readers of this blog, you all know how horrible of a person I am, so you're all probably expecting me to call you low-life retards. But no. This post tonight is to tell you all what I think of you really.

I know you guys. I know who you people are, so don't think that I don't give a rat's ass about you. You are the very few people I respect, because I know that just by following this piece-of-shit blog, you are open-minded people. Why? Because I am very well aware that my opinions conflict with so many people's, and yet you all still put up with me. You all continue to read about my views in life that I know can get insulting and demeaning and blasphemous. Very blasphemous.
I really do appreciate you guys. Just knowing that there are people (besides my girlfriend of course) who really do read my blog and actually follow it lightens up my mood most of the time. It's nice to know that this diary or journal or whatever of mine actually reaches a lot more people that I had ever hoped. But then again, I was only hoping for one person to read it anyways, so I guess I'm still not great anyways. But then who ever said I was?

I also know that in school (since pretty much all you followers are from my school) I am the biggest asshole to everyone. Well, just pardon my serious expression. Also, I'm just really not the kind of person who likes meeting new people and socializing about topics that don't interest me. If you guys would want to talk about philosophy sometime, then I'm game, but if not, I'd probably have to go to restroom and wash my face forever just to avoid small talk. That's just me. But always know that I'd want to a nicer guy to all of you, but it's just that I'm too much of a jerk to.

_______________________________

So that's pretty much it.
Just wanted to let that all out
Peace.

I'm Not Jesus

08/18/2011
12:59 pm

Ello ello. How do you do on this fine afternoon? So as I sip my tea alongside my pleasant lunch of fish n' chips, I write to you, my dear readers. It's quite early, I know. Astonishing, isn't it? You see, I had only half of the day for my schooling, for we have our periodical exams. Exams. Yes. Stressful tests that are awfully significant to our academic ratings, yet so irrelevant to our lives. Back to our topic though, this electronic public journal that we all know as "blog".

________________________________

So earlier today, I heard some very surprising news from my classmate at school. She said that word was spreading of my being "A.C.". At first, of course, I had no idea what those initials meant, for she had only told me that it was about my religion and that it was "bad". I took some time to figure it out, maybe for 4 minutes at most, and then I realized that she was calling me an antichrist.
She was stating it as if it were the cold hard truth, and she was talking in the manner that was implying that my secret had gone out. In my mind I only thought, "wtf, bitch, I ain't no antichrist", but it made sense, actually. I don't blame them for thinking of me that way -- well, actually I do. But they're children. What are you going to do?
I asked her this question, "So if I were anti-Christ, why would that make me a bad person?" She defended herself with statements that I could not recall. To be honest, if I recall correctly, she had no valid arguments. All she did was disagree to my points. What were my points? Well, let's see here...

Jews are pretty much antichrists, aren't they? Well, in a way. You see, an antichrist refuses the belief that Jesus is the son of God, and that He is the messiah. An antichrist denies the proclaimed divinity of Jesus Christ. Jews don't believe that Christ was the messiah. Jews are still waiting for the old God's promised savior.
Muslims deny the divinity of Jesus Christ. They don't worship Him or praise Him. They acknowledge Jesus as only a mere prophet. But none of you are hating on the Muslims... well, not all of you, at least.
Do you want me to keep going? Of course not. Nobody wants me to keep going, but I still feel that you have not yet gotten my point. Well, here's my point right now: get your facts straight before you claim truth. If you still don't understand that, well, I have a very simple way of stating my point: don't jump to conclusions.

That's not my only point though. That's only the first out of my three points, which are:

• Claiming your statements as truth when your points are false. Check.
• Being judgmental.
• My Religion. Again.

So now we go to being judgmental. I admit that I'm a judgmental son of a bitch, but it's only when we know our own flaws that we can see the flaws of others. A drunkard won't call his friend a drunkard, unless they're both sober... at the moment.
But I don't judge people because of what they are, or what they look like, or what they believe in. I judge people from the things that I know they do. I admit that I think that underage drinkers are shallow and whatnot, but that's just me. Like I said, I'm a judgmental asshole.
But when you're racist, or sexist, or you love to stereotype or generalize people, then you deserve a punch to the face by none other than myself. Why? Because I've never punched anyone in the face in my whole life, but then again, I'm not one for physical pain. I target your emotions.
Think about it this way: you think that antichrists are evil because they don't believe in your savior. Well, here's some news for you: I've never seen Jesus in my life. I've never seen His dad either. I wasn't around when he resurrected. I wasn't around when he walked on water. I wasn't around when he made that blind dude see. I wasn't around when he washed his homies' feet. I have no proof of anything, and I doubt that you do. I doubt that you were there when he came back to life with all the lighting effects in the background. What makes you believe is faith. What makes other people believe is faith. So who are you to say that your faith is right, and theirs isn't?
Here's a story: I was raised Catholic, until a couple years ago when my family and I turned Christian. At those times, I used to think to myself that I was totally going to chill out in heaven after I die because I believe in God. But I always wondered why there were other religions. I always thought that they were stupid for not believing Christianity. I always thought that their lives were headed only for eternal damnation, and then it hit me. Like what someone very close to me had said, my mind, like a blooming flower, opened up. I realized that how true my beliefs were to me, were just as true as what their beliefs were to them. I was raised Christian, so I thought like a Christian. If I were raised as a Muslim, I'd probably be praying 5 times a day, and I probably would've never known the taste of pork. If I were raised Jewish, I'd probably be sitting on a tree stump, just waiting for the messiah. If I were raised a Satanist, I probably would've lost my virginity at the age of 10 (not that Satanists do that. But you know, pleasure is a gift for them). I'm not saying that all these religious people are like this, I'm just saying that this is probably what I'd be like if I were raised under their religions.
I'm not telling you to stop believing in what you believe. I'm not telling you to start believing what I believe. I'm telling you to believe what you want to, and let other people believe what they wish as well.

So off of that topic, and now we go on to our last one. My religion. Pretty vain, yeah? But there are still lessons beneath it. You just read on.
I don't consider myself an antichrist. I'm not against your gods, or your beliefs. I'm against religion. I'm against this vanity, this hypocrisy, this self-righteousness, this narrow-mindedness, this waste of time.
I don't hate you, or your beliefs, but I do hate what you people do with them. You use your religions as an excuse for everything. You rub your beliefs in other people's faces, and you judge other people who don't agree with you. You say that other people will never be "saved" because they don't worship your god.
I'm against the practice of it all. I'm against going to mass so that your leaders could feed you with all their opinions so that you could take them in and believe in them as facts. I'm against teaching religion and all this spiritual health bullshit in schools. I'm against giving money to your religious factions just so they could be fed and just so they could make more buildings to gather at. I'm against praying for every single thing you want, and every single thing you do.
You could all do so much better things with your money and your time. Instead of praying before a big test, why not study your ass off? Instead of giving your money to the Catholic priests, why not give them to the starving kids in the streets? Instead of giving money to your churches so they could make more churches, why not give them to orphanages and programs that make houses for people without homes? Instead of taking up a theology course in college to add up to the unnecessarily large number of priests and pastors, why not take up medicine and save lives? Look at the Vatican. Look at their buildings, their statues, their museums and everything in them. These are the same people who preach humility, and yet look.
I don't know what religion I would fall under. I'm no Catholic, or Deist, or Atheist, or Satanist, or Jew, or Mormon, Scientologist, Muslim, or whatever. I don't really know, and to be honest, I don't care. It's just another label. I believe in what I want to believe, not what other people tell me to.

So what's my religion? I don't really know. All I know is what I believe in. I don't have a name for it, because I don't need a name for it. I'm not a preacher that would go around declaring my beliefs as the way to salvation. I'm just a self-righteous, dork of a potato who sits behind a laptop while listening to loud music all day.

___________________________________

So, that's kind of all for today.
To be honest, I was trying to sound like
an Englishman, but then I kind of lost it as
I wrote on. But anyways,
Cheerio

A Promise Kept

8/14/11
6:52 pm

I'm back for the second time today. Surprised, aren't you? Well, I did say that I wasn't done yet. Although this blog will be very different from the rest. This blog will be quite person. This blog will have a few of my poems in it. This blog is special, just like her.

________________________________

I used to not believe in love. I used to think that love was just overly exaggerated affection. I used to think that love was just an excuse for people to do stupid things. I used to think that love was just a stupid excuse for people to make up bullshit occasions. But you see, all that changed. It all changed because of one person. The very same person I dedicate this post to.

All my life, I've been an asshole of the highest caliber. Even until this day, I am still an anus, although I'm just less of an anus than before. It's because of one person. My love. My life. My one true inspiration. And that's saying a lot, because I am not the kind of person who is very open to change. And yet without even trying, she made me feel the need to become a better person, or at least to try and become what I think a better person would be. It's hard, but I try.

This day marks the 10th month of our relationship (bullshit occasion), which is the longest relationship we've both had. We're both so far away from each other, and yet instead of growing apart, our bond strengthens each and every day. And I'll wait until we can be together again, because one thing I've learned from the short time we were able to spend together was that she's the greatest joy in my life. The half year I spent with her was filled with so much more joy than I've ever felt in my entire life. And I can still remember it all from start to finish. What you did to me.

Dancing with the Dead
Breathed into clay
Giving life to the living dead
From her gorgeous face
Everyday. Again and again

In a singsong voice
She wakes the dead
An affectionate zombie
A little monster named…

Your lips taste caffeine
Bloody steel candy
Bring me to life
Hold on to me

A night on concrete
The stars won’t nod
Lovely necromancy
It’s still necrophilia

Dance of the dead
With shaking heads
Kill off the lights
Bring me back to life

You are my inspiration. You inspire not only my poetry, not only my writing, not only my music, but my whole life. You inspire me to live.

She Puts the Arm in Armstrong

In conversations, deep as poetry
Because my beautiful moon always shines on me
The one gorgeous face of the moon

Every word he spits out
It’s like a song
And every sentence,
A mystery
Confused and ignorant,
They drown him in mockery

So my moon, come back
My moon, I need you back
I’m blind to your face
Where have you gone?
My dear, come back
Darling, I need you back
I’m just a pool
I can’t feel your pull

Your pull that brings me up
Away from my seafloor
Where simplicity lies
And that explained my life

So what’s so special about a puddle?
So close to the ground like a shower
Without you I’m meaningless
And couldn’t get any shallower

A sea, an ocean
With schools of meaning
As low a remnant
Of minutes of raining
Without you I survive
With tragic crying
A puddle of tears
Cause of my fears
My moon, please fix me

You're the most amazing person I've ever met. You're talented, kind-hearted, understanding, forgiving, gorgeous, and so much more. If I were to write down every single thing I love about you, I don't think even a website as big as Google could hold in my blog post. You're just beautiful, inside and out. No matter how many words I use to describe you, or my love for you, nothing is ever enough. I always feel as if there are still some points I haven't yet made.

Beyond Perfect
That unexplainable fragrance of yours
To be found nowhere else on this earth
Nowhere on this earth is there a word
You’re just too good for this world

Your smile if proof
That perfect isn’t perfect enough for you
And your brown eyes
That started this great story
Unusually strange
Bearing divine beauty

Oh, Juliet, my darling
How could you be so daring
As to walk this earth
Oh, baby doll, my dear
You make life so clear
You are beyond perfect
Despite the hearts you collect

You speak a million songs
And sing a million more
Although your words are light
You can lighten up any fight

On your white skin
In this beautiful sin
You just love my art
And the art you move in
Forgive the devil
Cure his evil
You listen to what I say
While the whole world
Heaven and hell turn away

Although this is all hard, this situation we're in. But no matter what happens, I could never get myself to give up on you. Giving up on you would be just the same as giving up on life. I'd rather be dead that to live without you in my life. But then again, I'd love to be dead. Just sleeping forever in peace, never to wake up to this cruel world. But you make it all worthwhile.

All for You
An angel lives on your white skin
It’s a wonder that you give me your everything
Sing your lullabies to the blackest sheep
Inside and out
Shallow and skin-deep

It’s not just your bones
It’s not just your childish tone
It’s all that you are and all that you do
Be it hidden or shown
It’s all true

What else could I give?
What else could I do?
If love is sacrifice
I’d give it all for you
The air is toxic
I always feel so sick
But if you’ll grieve my death
Then I shall keep this breath

I give you the peace from my mind
Make you my life and leave bonds behind
Don’t worry, you’ll always be mine, hun
From midnight moon
To the morning sun

It’s not just your body
Oh, it’s everything, honey
It’s all that you are and all that you do
No matter what
I’d give it all for you

And although how horrible of a person I am, you still put up with me. Your patience is astounding, and so is your love. This is one of the million reasons I love you so much. You can put up with someone as horrible as me. A monster of a man. Thank you.

Beautiful Shame
I will be your beautiful shame
I will happily take all the blame
And I know that you can anytime go
But you don’t
You love your very sorrow

Do they hear of me?
Do you speak of me?
I need not ask
As a total ass I spy
Because of the life of lies

Thank you from your beautiful shame
Thank you for loving me the same
Way I do
The world on your back
And my heart full of black
Thank you

I’m nothing but dismay
Yet I’m perfect in every way
And you know you’re right
But throughout the fight
We stay
Love always the same

Heartbreak from cynicism
And all you hear is my pessimism
And my tears call forth your own
Yet forever you will moan for me
My beautiful and lovely

We may not last forever, for I believe that nothing is forever. But all that matters to me is that we're together now, and right now is all I care about. And who knows? Maybe we could last a lifetime, which is like, just as good as forever.

Éternelle Lumière

Sadly oceans apart
Now a mere breath is from a heavy heart
I awake with grief but with no despair
Because my sleep is no better than conscious air

Thoughts must remain as shallow as rain
While my mind is aloof and far off
Because deep in reality lies the pain
And my gloom only adds to these seas

Although with a simple glimmer of your teeth
And with the flight of your cheeks
Whenever you easily smile with your eyes
I’m reminded why I live this life

You are the ink of my pen
With which I write down my being
And no matter how tired and sore
I will live to see the day I hold you once more

_________________________________________

I love you.
Ti amo
Je t'aime
And thank you,
Anjeanette.

1 Jed 13: 4-8

8/14/11
6:02 pm

It's that day of the month again. And no, I'm not talking about menstruation or anything, you cheeky bastards. It's the 14th. The 14th may not mean anything to any of you, but it means a lot to me. What could be so special about the 14th day of every month? Memory.

___________________________________________

For tonight, I'll be talking about something that you young people would surely be very interested in. This topic will get your hearts throbbing as if you had eaten a whole bag of sour candy worms alongside a whole keg of coffee. This topic will get you thinking as much as Isaac Newton when that apple hit him in the head. This topic will stretch out your smile to the point that the corners of your lips would be inside your ears. Tonight, I'll be talking about romance and romantic relationships.

Romance. Love. Affection. Captivation. Infatuation. These are all feelings we experience, especially when we are in our youthful stage. Puberty. We get attracted to other people. We fall in love. We fall out of it. Then we get infatuated by the next person we see, and the cycle goes around all over again. Until that one person stops the cycle (for most people).

I used to be like a lot of young guys I see today. I always thought about girls. I would go outside my house, and the first thing I would think about would be meeting girls. I had girlfriends come and go, getting sick of them after a couple weeks at most. I was foolish, insensitive, and selfish -- but aren't we all? We all just want to be happy.
But how glad am I that I've changed from the way I had used to be. I'm happily taken by the most amazing person in the world, and I wouldn't have it any other way. She saved me from myself, although not the same self that used other people for his own happiness. She saved me from living a dull, worthless, colorless life that was heading towards nothing but death. I love her more than anything and anyone in the world.

But of course my feelings could change. Her feelings could change as well. In this world, nothing lasts forever... well, almost nothing. There is only one thing I am certain will never change, and that is death. Death is eternal. Once you are dead, you do not come back to life. Once death's scythe rips your life out of your body, you will be gone forever. But of course, that's just what I believe.

But I digress.

People would probably have different levels of love. Different definitions. Different ways of expressing it. Different ways of feeling it. Let's not be self-righteous assholes, and let us not judge other people's relationships. If you find yourself thinking and caring so much about what other people feel for each other, that only means one thing: you need to get into your own relationship.
You look at a couple who rock hard in their beds all day, make out wherever they can, and you think, "ugh. What idiots. That's not love. That's lust." If you think like this, sir, or ma'am, you need to mind your own business. People feel differently from everyone, one way or another. Take a look at what I think:
I wouldn't die for my girlfriend, and I have my own reasons. One would be because I believe that death is beautiful as it is eternal peace. I'd kill myself any day, but the one reason I'm still alive is because I know that when I'm dead, the pain wouldn't be mine, but for those who actually love me. I won't be around anymore to live through the pain, but my girlfriend would, and I would never want her to ever go through any kind of pain. But not readily giving my life for her doesn't mean that I don't love her. You just have your own idea of love, and I have mine.
Now let's go to what you all want to hear:

We're still young. People tell us to ignore these feelings we have, because they're just feelings that shouldn't be taken seriously. People tell us to focus on our studies and to brush off these emotions in our hearts, because they will only interfere with our studies. Well, let me tell you what. When my girlfriend and I got together, both our grades got higher. So what sorcery is that? Back to the point though:
Age is nothing but a number. I see teenagers more in love than married adults. I see kids more in love than a teenage couple. It has nothing to do with age. A number does not measure responsibility. Responsibility measures responsibility.

Next, gender. Who says that a man can't love another man? Who says that a woman can't love another woman? Your god? Let me tell you what, I'm pretty sure your god didn't tell you this. Your teacher, or parent, or religious leader told you this. Anyone can fall in love with anyone. Anyone is free to be in a relationship with whoever they wish.

Next, race. Well, it's pretty self-explanatory. Let's just remember what Michael Jackson said: "Doesn't matter if you're black or white." It doesn't matter, you racists fucks! You could be Asian, European, American, African, or even a motherflipping Martian.

So to sum that all up, I end with a saying: love knows no race, color, or gender. If you ask me what love means, I would only say that love is the feeling of attraction. But if you ask me how you could find out that you're in love, then I would have no answer for you. Only you could know whether it's love that you feel, or if it's just infatuation, or if it's just lust. Nobody can get inside your mind and feel what you feel. It's just you. Love is just love.

_______________________________________

So there you have it.
Love in my eyes. Although this is just a short
and simple definition. I could expand it and say a whole
lot more, but I choose not to.
Why not?
Parce que je n'ai jeu, mes chiennes
Although this is not yet goodnight.
It's the 14th. It's not over.

The Beauty in the Beast

August 7, 2011
7:45 pm

Konbanwa. Did you miss me? I'm really sorry for my very long absence. These past couple weeks haven't been very good to me, but then again, when is life ever good to me? I just make the most out of my bullshit existence.

____________________________________

Actually, no. The reason I've been gone is because no worthwhile topic has been coming to mind. I think I've already used up all my ideas. That was until a few days ago when my brain hatched an idea one morning in school... but then I got too lazy to write, until now.

So tonight, the topic is an abstract thing. It's another thing that is so very often present in society's everyday conversations and rituals and whatever. It starts with a letter, B, and it rhymes with the word, "fruity". No, it's not boobie. It's beauty.

Have you ever heard of the saying: "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"? Of course you have. It's said over and over and over again. and pretty much especially by people to people who they think are ugly. Well, have you ever heard of the saying: "Everybody is an idiot except for myself"? Of course not. I just made it up, but it's pretty much almost everyone's way of thinking.

So, beauty. Everyone has their own concept of beauty, so don't go around calling people ugly or hideous. Everyone is ugly to at least one person, and everyone is beautiful to at least one person -- maybe. Even if your ears are cylindrical, 20 inches long, and with a circumference of 1cm, you could still be gorgeous... to insects with antennae. But seriously, beauty does not have any criteria to match, or any absolute standards to meet. It all depends on the person. It all depends on the beholder. So take your long-ass antennae and strut it in front of your cockroach admirers.

Look at the different races. You may not realize it, but my point is already very present and obvious here in our country, the gem of the east. How? Have you noticed how foreign men, usually the Caucasians, often prefer dark-skinned wives? The very women who we, Filipinos, very rarely get attracted to. Why is that? It's because they have different perspectives of beauty from us. We all have different perspectives, really.
Look at the African countries. I'm not trying to be racist, okay? I hate racism, but just look at the African countries. The less-civilized countries, because those are the ones I know at least a little about. Their tribes. Do you see their women? They see those women as beautiful, while we don't. Why? Because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

What's my concept of beauty? Hmm. Well, mine is pretty simple and general. It's not absolute, but here's my very frequent judgement when it comes to rating of the (beauty) appearances of men and women. First, females:

• If I find you ugly, then, I just find you repulsive.
• If I say that you are not ugly, then you're probably attractive to quite a number of guys.
• If I say that you're beautiful or pretty, then you're a celebrity, or just not someone I know personally.
• Now, if I say that you are gorgeous, then you are my girlfriend. And I have only one, so I find only one person gorgeous. It's not that I think everyone else is ugly. It's just that compared to her, nobody can ever come near.

As for males:

• If I say you're ugly, then I surely don't mean it. I may just be pulling your leg.
• If I say you're not ugly, then you're either probably very attractive to most girls, or unnecessarily picked on by most kids. I like defending the weak. I'm one of you.
• If I say you're handsome, then you're a celebrity. That's that. Or you're my friend. I don't choose my friends though. It's not like I only hang out with handsome guys. It's just that, when you gain my friendship, you become beautiful to my eyes. You don't have to look like Leonardo Di Caprio. You just have to have the beauty I consider worth keeping close to me, and it's not appearances. Wait, I guess I do choose my friends.

Now, I'm not saying that if I think you're ugly, then you're ugly. Of course not. I may just not see it. I mean, I'm the kind of guy who would see Megan Fox naked while playing Oblivion, and yet I would rather watch my TV screen than see that celebrity's bare body. Why? Because I love Oblivion. And because I'm taken. Every other female, no matter how famous they are for their looks, is just another girl. And if you're just another girl, then that only means one thing. You're not my sweet, beloved darling. And if you're not her, then to my eyes, you look exactly the same as every other girl.

If someone tells you that you're ugly, then smile and let the insult pass your heart. Don't let it get to you, because what's one person's opinion, when there are billions of other people in the world? If someone tells you that you're beautiful, while the whole world tells you that you're hideous, then smile and thank them for the compliment. Be happy because having that one person who sees the beauty in you means that the remaining billions of people could be wrong.
It's up to you whether to believe them or not. But I'm telling you that if you live your life like me, not seeing any hint of beauty in yourself, then you'll probably end up like me. And trust me, you would never want to be like me.

_______________________________

That's it. It's all pretty sloppy, but just read it.
If you don't get it the first time you read it,
then read it all again. If you still don't get it the second time,
then read it a third time. If still nothing gets to you,
then turn off your computer, or your laptop, or whatever
the hell you're using, and go to sleep.
This blog is really different from the rest because
it has a very inspirational feel. Why is that?
It's because that everyone is ugly.
But at the same time, everyone is beautiful.
Night.

Dude Looks Like a Lady

07/26/11
7:14pm

Birds flying high, you know how I feel. Sun in they sky, you know how I feel. Breeze drifting on by, you know how I feel. It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me, and I'm feeling good.
Well actually, not really. I'm feeling good because I feel so relaxed, but not because I have a new life. This new life sucks camel balls.
Also, I feel quite shitty, for earlier today I heard an obnoxiously loud girl scream out: "For the Love of God by Steve Vai" at the corridors. She completely desecrated a beautiful song by screaming it out in her loud masculine voice. I know that it shouldn't be an issue, but I get pretty touchy when it comes to my kind of music. Sure, she has good taste in music for liking the song, but I mean, come on. You just don't shout amazing songs out like that. You keep them to yourself, at least that's what I do.

_____________________________________________

Remember last night when I said that I would talk about homosexuality some time? Well, you are in luck because tonight is that night! Fuck yeah! And to really get into the feel of it, I'm going to listen to purely Queen, Adam Lambert, Judas Priest, Van Halen, David Bowie, and Justin Bieber... wait, not Justin Bieber. What? You never knew these people (people from these bands) were gay? Oh, well then, you never knew shit!

Okay, so let's be more detailed. I'm not just going to talk about homosexuality. I'll be talking about bisexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality, and whatever the hell else I could think of. To put it simply: I'll be talking about human sexuality.

Before I begin, you may be wondering why I'm making this my topic for tonight. Well, for multiple reason. First would be because I'm sick of ignorant people making such big deals about other people's homosexuality. Second reason would be to show that gay people could and do rock hard! The last reason would be because I feel like it. Okay! We begin!

1. Heterosexuality
Heterosexuality is being straight. It's when you're attracted to the opposite sex, so if you're a transvestite, well then you're probably always heterosexual... unless you are attracted to a fellow transvestite. Oh shit.
Anyways, you ignorant people would call Heterosexuals, "normal". If you do, then I would love to shove my beautiful leather shoe up your intestinal track, entering through your anus. What is normal? What is abnormal? We're all normal! As long as you're a person, then you're a normal person. People are intentionally different from one another. It's like calling one color abnormal, when every color is distinct.
For you guys, you mostly insult each other with terms such as: gay, faggot, homo, bading, bakla, and whatever the fuck you think of. This really pisses me off, especially when the second person gets offended by the comments. Also, guys, having sizable genitalia does not prove your masculinity in any way, and neither do having well-built bodies, alcohol attachments, knowledge on card games, being sporty, being addicted to pornography, playing video games, and being addicted to playing with your small wieners. You know what makes you masculine? Having a dick. You know what else? Nothing else.
As for girls... well... uh, to be honest, I'm really not very knowledgeable when it comes to you girls. I mean, I guess I just really don't hang out with enough girls to notice, but I'll still try.
Some of you girls judge lesbians, but I'm really not sure. Oh man, this is hard. Uh, well, you probably think that playing volleyball, cooking, gardening, and such things make you feminine. Well, I'm sure that it doesn't, and neither does having a sizable chest. And, uh... also... damn it. Oh, god.
Alright, let's just get off this topic.

2. Homosexuality
So I got my boots on with the right amount of leather.
Let's get one thing straight before I start talking, I'm not gay. I'm completely straight, well, at least I think I am. I have a fabulous girlfriend, and I am not attracted to men, so I guess I'm straight. This part of the blog is not intentionally to defend the gays (and a gay person can either be a homosexual man or homosexual woman), but to educate you ignorant, obnoxious, insensitive people. I mean, I'm obnoxious and insensitive, but I still have decency.
All my life, I've been called gay countless times. I swear, there is no probably no week that I am not called gay. I don't blame other people though, because I admit that there are certain (a lot) of things I do and say that would make me seem gay. I have a bottle of Victoria's Secret perfume, I say words such as 'fabulous' and other terms that people would find fitting for a girl to say, I hate getting dirty, I hate flying insects and they freak the shit out of me, I move in a certain way that makes others think of me as a homosexual, I try to have a good fashion sense, and a lot more. I never get offended by these comments because I know that they're not true, and I have nothing to prove to anybody; but also because I can't blame them for inferring this guess or claim. I grew up with a big sister, and with only a big sister, so I guess that's a reason I am what I am.
But enough about me. Now, tell me, what's so bad about being gay? Nothing is bad about it, unless you're an idiot, a narrow-minded man, or a delusional religious person. A gay person is as normal as you and me, because they're still people. They're people just like us, and being gay doesn't make them any less of a person than us. We're all equal.
And how come being gay is an insult? I mean, what's so bad about being gay? You'll still be a person. The only difference will be is that you'll be interested in men.
Stop picking on gay people. Gay people are funny, and if they admit that they're gay, then they're admirable brave. Nobody should ever be ashamed to be who they are, because yourself is the only person you can ever be.
I mean, look at the gay people in history: Freddie Mercury, Elton John, Adam Lambert, Michael Stipe, David Lee Roth, and even Leonardo DaVinci is believed to had been gay.
I mean, there's nothing wrong with being gay, so erase from your mind that idea that being called gay is an insult. Deal with it. If people think you're gay, tell them you're not. If they don't believe you, then to hell with their opinions. You know what's true, and you don't need to prove yourself to anyone.
Hey, Jesus had two dads, so why can't you? (Unoriginal)

3. Bisexuality
I'll make it short. It's when you are attracted to both men and women. Done. I'm tired. But I just want to add one thing about this: this is like playing it safe. Nick Jonas ftw.

_________________________________

I'm tired and bored. I've run out of ideas.
Like I said, I'm not homosexual,
I only wish to share my opinions about human sexuality
If I missed any sexuality you may be classified under,
then I apologize. You are not unimportant, I assure you.
Also, if you disagree with the things written here,
then go on Facebook and complain about it,
or you can kiss my ass.
Also, if you feel as if though I failed to give women any
significance in this blog, then I apologize.
I'm a guy, and I hang out with guys. What do you expect?
We'll just be playing video games, then all of a sudden,
I would discover the truth to why women get cranky
when blood pours out of their baby tunnels?
After this blog is posted, I shall post a picture of myself
on my Facebook fan page. I shall reveal my true identity by
putting up a portrait of my true face.
Beware.
Good night.

Al Pacino's Favorite Sin

07/25/11
7:39pm

Konbanwa. I feel quite... groovy today. I'm listening to nothing but New Wave, and I can't stop wishing that I had been born before my time. But enough about me. On to tonight's topic!

____________________________________

Tonight's topic is a certain thing that so many people care about and protect so dearly, and I don't see why they do. Well actually, I know exactly why they do, I just don't care for it like they do. You can try to guess what I'm talking about, so that way, my blog won't be as boring as it always is. This thing is an abstract noun, each person is born with it, and almost every person protect theirs so dearly. Try to guess which it is from these choices:

• pride
• virginity
• beauty
• sexuality
• intellect

If you guessed that the topic was virginity, then you're wrong. I'll talk about that some other night. If you thought that the answer was either beauty or sexuality, then you're still not right! I'll talk about those topic too some other time though. Now we're left with pride and intellect. I'll give you a hint: it's not not pride, so if you guessed pride, then you're not wrong!
If you got it right from the start, then don't get so full of yourself. You're no special snowflake. If you've seen The Devil's Advocate, then you should've already gotten an idea just by reading the title.

So as I said, tonight's topic is pride. Pride, reputation and vanity. These are three things the world seems to revolve around, and it sickens me in a way to know that people care for such unnecessary things. Well, maybe I'm the one who doesn't care enough about my own pride and reputation because of my low self-esteem. Who knows?
I'm not right, nor am I wrong to think of pride and reputation as nothing more than needless vanity. Like I said before, everything is an opinion. One's reality is different from the others', and what you will read here will just be my own opinions.

Pride. Wikipedia defines pride as "an inward directed (feeling) emotion that exemplifies either an inflated sense of one's personal status or the specific mostly positive emotion that is a product of praise or independent self-reflection."
Now I'll share my own definition of pride: Pride is one's love for one's self, be it his actions, his traits, his possessions, his name, his reputation, and the list goes on. Basically put, pride is one's love for one's self.

Okay, maybe pride isn't all that bad. One could be proud to have someone, or even just to know somebody they adore. That's okay because that's not self-praise (until you rub it in everyone's faces). Pride is fine, until you have too much of it.

Now let's talk about reputation. Reputation is the certain status of either fame or infamy one has among a certain group of people (or maybe even animals. Heck, who knows? Maybe my dog is the dog all your dogs want to be, so suck it and my wiener dog.)
Right now, in the society I live amongst, everybody seems to care so much about their reputation. People hide what they really are just so they would have what they think would be a "good reputation". Some people forcefully change or try to change themselves to be "cool" just so they would have a "good reputation".
As much as I don't care about other people, it still sickens me to see them trying so hard to control their reputations. They want to be something they're not, just so people will see them as that. They all hide what they are, because they don't want people to see them as that. They keep trying to control what other people think of them, because they care so much about who people think they are.
Reputation won't change who you really are. To me, if you care so much about what people think of you, then you're wasting your life (said by the person who wants to be nothing at all when he grows up). One shouldn't live their life to please other people. What's the use of trying so hard to build up your reputation when once you die, you'll be forgotten completely? And also, no matter how much you lie about who you really are, there will always be at least one person who know who you really are, and another one person who will see right through you.

But okay, let's say that the person who tries so hard to build or maintain a reputation doesn't lie about anything. All he does is that he shoves his traits in other people's faces, and he labels himself like shit.
"Hi, I'm Italian. I'm an Italian kid. We, Italians, love pasta and pizza and we're cool. Italians are far better than you. I'm a punk kid. I'm an artist. I'm a musician. I'm better than all of you."
I'm not limiting it to just somebody's race. It's just to show that s/he's not making up this shit. But the thing is, nobody gives a rat's ass, so why should you keep throwing your shit into other people's lives, because nobody wants to hear it.

Why don't I care about my reputation? Simple. It's because that I don't give a fuck about what other people think about me. I've been called gay, emo, a goth kid, a snob, arrogant, weird, mean, childish, "totoy", and so much more so many times, yet I don't care. Why is that? That's because I don't care about what other people see in me. I know who I am, and I know what my intentions are for being what I am or doing what I do. If they don't see the truth, then that's not my problem.
Why don't I care about my pride? Well, I have a low self-esteem. I'm not really proud of who I am, because to be frank, I don't really see anything to be proud of. I'm just satisfied, because I'd hate to be anybody else. I don't think highly of myself, and I don't want others to think highly of me. We're all people. None of us are better than the other because we're all just being ourselves (some of us are, at least).
Nobody can be better at being me than me, and the same goes for you and everybody else in this shitty, cold and cruel world.

_____________________________

I hope you actually understand the things written here.
Took me like, two hours to finish this post.
It just feels messy and whatnot.
Anyways, I'm out.
And if you think I'm arrogant because I snob you,
I just don't like you.
But it's nothing personal because I just
really hate people in general.
Good night.

Holocaust or Population Solution

July 24, 2011
2:41pm

It's early in the afternoon for a change, and I'm pretty messed up.

________________________________

Like I said, I'm pretty messed up. I can't tell whether I'm depressed, or furious, or just plain confused.
You see, earlier in church, our pastor told us a story that happened to his family years back. His daughter was raped by nine armed men in the past in their own house while he and his wife were out. And the moment I heard that, I fell silent for a short time until mixed thoughts and emotions just exploded inside my head. It really got me thinking.
Before he told the story, he talked about these types of religious mindsets, and Deism was one of them. That was the first time I heard about it, but the moment he explained it, my mind lit up. I had been thinking like a Deist for such a long time now, and I only found out now. At least now I know that I'm not alone.

In church, I seemed to be the only one who was actually affected greatly by the pastor's story. The religious speaker cried a little when he told of his tale, but he carried on with the sermon as if it meant nothing at all. I also looked around the auditorium, and yet everyone seemed to be as joyous as they always are. Even my family didn't seem to care one bit when I talked to it about them. It drove me even more confused, and I felt as if I was being kept from a secret that the whole world knew about.
Everyone was thinking that it was all part of "God's will". The pastor's daughter eventually used the horrible experience and turned it into a perk for her job. She's a councilor and since she knows what it's like, she know what she's talking about. It all turned out great, right? I wouldn't know, but I do think that all this talk about plans and wills is bullshit.

There is a god, and I believe that. The god I believe in is believed to look after the universe and is believed to control everything that happens in it. This god I believe in is supposedly all-good, all-knowing, and all-powerful. This god is supposed to love every single one of his creations, but I just don't feel it.
You take a look outside, and you see how wicked this world is. You stay inside, and the news of all the impurities and evils of the outside world still reach you. Doesn't it make you wonder why these things happen? Don't you get confused? Don't you ask yourself why all these things are happening when you believe in a powerful deity that's supposed to love you and take care of you? But if you ask for help, all you get is this: "It's God's will."
What is "God's will"? Is it an all-good god's will for people to get raped, or starve to death, or get mugged, or get killed, or get hurt, or get sick, or for powerful people to stomp over the lives of the lower-class citizens? That's something I just can't believe.
If there is a god, then I believe that he has nothing to do with whatever happens with our lives. Good things and bad things happen, but can we credit him for both? Can we just praise him when we win the lottery, then curse him when we get mugged? Or maybe can we praise him for giving us a gorgeous celebrity daughter, then praise him for letting her get raped to boost her popularity? Maybe it's his will, right?

The way I see it, nobody can explain how these mystical deities work, and yet everyone keeps trying. Telling a child that a mass murder is part of "God's plan" is to me like a kid telling his friends that he has a supermodel girlfriend, but refuses to show her to them because he wants to keep her a secret. "It's good, and I don't need to prove it to you. Just accept that it's all good."

It would be more acceptable to me to have a god that created us and let us live our lives by ourselves, then to have a god that lets us smile for a while, then get raped later on. I'm not going to call myself a Deist, because I don't know much about it yet, and it's just another label. I'll believe what I want to believe without intentionally bending my mind to adjust to rules and fixed laws.

These are just my opinions and I'm not saying that I'm right and you're wrong. We're all right somehow, I guess. The reason I blog about this is because this is how I can really think clearly about what is going on inside my head. As these words pour out of my mind, I get to really contemplate on them and clear up my thinking. And also because pretty much nobody else would listen to what I have to say anyways.
In the car going back home from church, I opened it up as a topic. I told my mom a little bit of what I thought, and I just knew that everyone in the car thought I was an idiot. My sister just told me to shut up, my dad was singing the ending song of the serve, and I just knew that my mom just wanted me to staple my lips together. They thought that I just couldn't see the truth, but am I really the one who is blind? Are they sure that they're not delusional in thinking that rape, murder, starvation, poverty, and a long-ass list of wickedness are parts of a loving and caring god?
Well, at least they have peace of mind.

_________________________________

You guys (or guy, since probably just one person reads this)
may want to look up Deism if you wish.
It would help you understand the blog better.
And who knows, maybe you would agree with me.
But I'm no Deist.
I'm just me.