Al Pacino's Favorite Sin

07/25/11
7:39pm

Konbanwa. I feel quite... groovy today. I'm listening to nothing but New Wave, and I can't stop wishing that I had been born before my time. But enough about me. On to tonight's topic!

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Tonight's topic is a certain thing that so many people care about and protect so dearly, and I don't see why they do. Well actually, I know exactly why they do, I just don't care for it like they do. You can try to guess what I'm talking about, so that way, my blog won't be as boring as it always is. This thing is an abstract noun, each person is born with it, and almost every person protect theirs so dearly. Try to guess which it is from these choices:

• pride
• virginity
• beauty
• sexuality
• intellect

If you guessed that the topic was virginity, then you're wrong. I'll talk about that some other night. If you thought that the answer was either beauty or sexuality, then you're still not right! I'll talk about those topic too some other time though. Now we're left with pride and intellect. I'll give you a hint: it's not not pride, so if you guessed pride, then you're not wrong!
If you got it right from the start, then don't get so full of yourself. You're no special snowflake. If you've seen The Devil's Advocate, then you should've already gotten an idea just by reading the title.

So as I said, tonight's topic is pride. Pride, reputation and vanity. These are three things the world seems to revolve around, and it sickens me in a way to know that people care for such unnecessary things. Well, maybe I'm the one who doesn't care enough about my own pride and reputation because of my low self-esteem. Who knows?
I'm not right, nor am I wrong to think of pride and reputation as nothing more than needless vanity. Like I said before, everything is an opinion. One's reality is different from the others', and what you will read here will just be my own opinions.

Pride. Wikipedia defines pride as "an inward directed (feeling) emotion that exemplifies either an inflated sense of one's personal status or the specific mostly positive emotion that is a product of praise or independent self-reflection."
Now I'll share my own definition of pride: Pride is one's love for one's self, be it his actions, his traits, his possessions, his name, his reputation, and the list goes on. Basically put, pride is one's love for one's self.

Okay, maybe pride isn't all that bad. One could be proud to have someone, or even just to know somebody they adore. That's okay because that's not self-praise (until you rub it in everyone's faces). Pride is fine, until you have too much of it.

Now let's talk about reputation. Reputation is the certain status of either fame or infamy one has among a certain group of people (or maybe even animals. Heck, who knows? Maybe my dog is the dog all your dogs want to be, so suck it and my wiener dog.)
Right now, in the society I live amongst, everybody seems to care so much about their reputation. People hide what they really are just so they would have what they think would be a "good reputation". Some people forcefully change or try to change themselves to be "cool" just so they would have a "good reputation".
As much as I don't care about other people, it still sickens me to see them trying so hard to control their reputations. They want to be something they're not, just so people will see them as that. They all hide what they are, because they don't want people to see them as that. They keep trying to control what other people think of them, because they care so much about who people think they are.
Reputation won't change who you really are. To me, if you care so much about what people think of you, then you're wasting your life (said by the person who wants to be nothing at all when he grows up). One shouldn't live their life to please other people. What's the use of trying so hard to build up your reputation when once you die, you'll be forgotten completely? And also, no matter how much you lie about who you really are, there will always be at least one person who know who you really are, and another one person who will see right through you.

But okay, let's say that the person who tries so hard to build or maintain a reputation doesn't lie about anything. All he does is that he shoves his traits in other people's faces, and he labels himself like shit.
"Hi, I'm Italian. I'm an Italian kid. We, Italians, love pasta and pizza and we're cool. Italians are far better than you. I'm a punk kid. I'm an artist. I'm a musician. I'm better than all of you."
I'm not limiting it to just somebody's race. It's just to show that s/he's not making up this shit. But the thing is, nobody gives a rat's ass, so why should you keep throwing your shit into other people's lives, because nobody wants to hear it.

Why don't I care about my reputation? Simple. It's because that I don't give a fuck about what other people think about me. I've been called gay, emo, a goth kid, a snob, arrogant, weird, mean, childish, "totoy", and so much more so many times, yet I don't care. Why is that? That's because I don't care about what other people see in me. I know who I am, and I know what my intentions are for being what I am or doing what I do. If they don't see the truth, then that's not my problem.
Why don't I care about my pride? Well, I have a low self-esteem. I'm not really proud of who I am, because to be frank, I don't really see anything to be proud of. I'm just satisfied, because I'd hate to be anybody else. I don't think highly of myself, and I don't want others to think highly of me. We're all people. None of us are better than the other because we're all just being ourselves (some of us are, at least).
Nobody can be better at being me than me, and the same goes for you and everybody else in this shitty, cold and cruel world.

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I hope you actually understand the things written here.
Took me like, two hours to finish this post.
It just feels messy and whatnot.
Anyways, I'm out.
And if you think I'm arrogant because I snob you,
I just don't like you.
But it's nothing personal because I just
really hate people in general.
Good night.